Setting goals for 2023... but doing it differently
What I want to achieve by this time next year.
Being a planner girl and a self-confessed stationery and sticker enthusiast, setting up my planner for the new year is a source of real joy, and I delight in spending hours agonising over which inserts I’m going to use, or how I can set my system up so that it’s more efficient. But I also spend a lot of time planning out my goals.
I do this every year and love to keep them with me so that I can refer to them often. I’m incredibly goal-oriented, and coming up with things that I want to achieve is usually so easy for me. I’m a big-picture thinker generally but the thing I struggle the most with is breaking things down into more manageable chunks. I’m very all or nothing in that respect. I write things down… and they happen.
This time, though, I didn’t have a clue what I wanted to achieve over the next 12 months, and it was really starting to get to me. I felt like I was running out of time (despite it being early December) to get things ironed out and a plan put in place ready for me to get stuck in on January 1st. I’m not a big fan of not having a plan.
I think with all the change and turbulence that’s waiting ever so patiently to rumble in and knock me sideways, something’s telling me there’s no point in planning everything to the minutest detail, because, well, things change. And if you’re moving house and uprooting your life, then obviously a lot of things are going to change.
And I’m actually ok with that. I’ve spent most of this year learning to let go and go more with the flow. Releasing where I feel the need to control, and things have been happening for me. Life is easier, and life just happens when I don’t have such a tight grip on needing to keep it all together.
But not being able to set goals was still bugging me. I didn’t just want to go ‘well let’s see what happens’, I wanted to have some guide rails at the very least. So I spent some time thinking about it and asked myself, what do I really want? Regardless of the move and everything that goes along with it, how do I want to feel this time next year?
And so, by breaking down each different area of my life I came up with these:
My goals for 2023
Health - I want to feel my best
Finances - I want to feel comfortable
Personal Development - I want to feel expansive
Career - I want to feel accomplished
Relationships - I want to feel connected
Self-care - I want to feel kindness
Home life - I want to feel at home
Extra curricular / hobbies - I want to feel passionate
Suddenly everything made so much more sense to me. I had goals that I could work towards, and I knew all the things I needed to do to achieve them, which I’ve already spent an entire year figuring out and living with. And it all just feels right.
I struggled a lot with fitting my new framework into my beautiful planner inserts that I use every year to plan and track progress. The pages ask for quarterly milestones for each goal. How do I know what milestones I’ll need to hit to achieve these goals of feeling? I don’t. Because there aren’t any. The point of these goals is to build systems around them. It’s not about the destination, it’s all about the journey.
What little things can I implement that will help me to achieve those goals? Well, a lot of them I already do. I know that to feel my best I need to be eating well, getting enough sleep, exercising, spending time outside. To feel kindness it’s about treating myself with love, meditating, journaling, hair masks, dry brushing, wearing cosy socks and getting into my favourite pyjamas at 5pm, just because.
To feel expansive, it’s learning something new every day, asking questions, reading books, thinking things through. To feel connected, it’s spending time with the people I love, date nights, dinner with friends, talking for hours. All of those little daily, weekly or monthly to-dos, become habits. And over time, all those little habits and rituals add up, and suddenly you’re a totally different person. You just haven’t realised. Until you do.
So my milestones are still milestones, but they’re more of a quarterly check-in. Am I feeling each of those things? What have I been doing that I could be doing differently? What’s working? What isn’t?
For the first time in my life I don’t feel any hint or whisper of the perfectionism dragon. The one who snuffs and smoulders and tells me there’s no point because I’ll never be good enough. Or belches out fiery rage when something doesn’t go to plan.
For the first time in a long time I’m excited about getting started with my goals, because I don’t have to wait with often crippling anticipation for the New Year to roll around because I’m already doing the work. And it feels so, so good.
I’d love to know what your goals are for 2023. Do you have them set and ready? Is it something you love to do, or does the whole thing fill you up with dread? Let me know in the comments, or via email. I love to hear from you. And if you’re struggling with setting goals or even working out which direction to go in, I’m always here to help.
Questions to ponder this week…
Have I achieved what I wanted to this year?
How am I feeling? Really
What can I work on?
Am I the same person I was this time last year?
Currently…
Reading
My oracle cards. I’ve been pulling a card every morning and seem to keep getting the same ones over and over again. I’m writing them down to see if I can see any patterns or things I must obviously be missing.
Watching
Wednesday on Netflix. It’s just SO GOOD. We’ve also started watching 1899, which is a bit… mind bending. I’ve also discovered a load of videos on YouTube about how people set up Notion for their personal lives..and oh my, the aesthetic! I’m not a digital planner by any means but I am soooo tempted.
Listening to
Tom told me one evening last week as we were making dinner that he’d heard a chart song on the radio that he really liked. We played it, and we danced and here it is. Así es la vida!
Loving
Having a wonderful dinner and evening with a best friend. Not feeling the pressure to ride because the school is frozen solid and we just can’t, at all. Endlessly singing in the car. Journaling in the mornings again. The crisp and icy cold when I’m layered up and feeling oh so toasty. Hot, hot showers and radiator warmed pyjamas.
Ahh I loved Wednesday on Netflix!! I love that you set intentions to feel good - that’s the way to do it! Also love that you’re drawing oracle cards. I draw tarot every day :) For me, I’d like to feel more love, connection, joy, abundance, and fulfillment :)